The "Yuujou" Dance

Since my arrival in August, I have been fortunate enough to make some friends amongst the Japanese populous and enjoy that thing known as ‘a social life’ once more. It was sort of a snowball effect, all stemming from one random encounter in the foyer of Jujiya (the local department store) on a hot summer’s day. The woman we met that day has since introduced me to more faces than I can possibly remember (some of whom have become good friends, who have in turn introduced me to Their friends, etc, etc), and remains a constant presence in our lives.

I can only describe this kindly woman as a force of pure energy and dumbfounding hospitality bundled together, with an eagerness to help in every way imaginable. I’m sure you’re familiar with the term, “to go the extra mile”. Such a description doesn’t apply to this friend of mine, it doesn’t do her justice.

At first, Ash and I were both taken aback, and more than a little uncomfortable with all the attention and well-meaning effort she showed us. We had been told that in Japanese society, there are subtle undertones to every favor & gift exchange, with certain expectations attached that take years to decipher, much less master. While able to handle a couple acts of kindness, she, quite simply, overwhelmed us. It’s intimidating to join in the social dance when you don’t know the steps, not to mention verbalizing such abstract concepts when neither party has an incredibly good grasp of the other’s language.

Our relationship with her has now settled (for the most part) into a comfortable, rewarding one for both sides. It’s been fun to introduce her to American gestures of friendship, such as the lovely e-card, and she’s been enjoying the chance to speak English and flex her “mothering instincts” once more (her children left the nest a while ago). And of course, we both manage to surprise each other quite often as we learn about each other’s cultures beyond “general knowledge”.

It’s personal experiences like these that make living abroad so rewarding.